Motherhood: Embrace the Theory of Natural Consequences!

October 18, 2009 by Rene Syler
Filed under Featured, Motherhood

I woke kids up and then got them headed in the general direction of running water, and once immersed, I went downstairs to burn breakfast. The mornings are pretty predictable around here; washing up, head downstairs where man child Cole, a small framed 10-year old boy proceeds to eat his weight in waffles. The delicate flower, Casey, picks and stares at her food, more staring than actual picking or eating.

Now, in between buttering waffles and making PB and J (Cole had 3, along with 2 waffles this morning and yes he ate all of it) I am repeating myself to Casey, who has eaten exactly two, starving model bites of her Special K Fruit and Yogurt cereal.

“Eat Casey”
“Eat Casey”
“Eat Casey”
“Take a bite, Casey”
“Casey, EAT!”

And that’s when it dawned on me. Natural consequences. I wrote about it in my book, Good Enough Mother; the Perfectly Imperfect book of Parenting. Then, I was talking about allowing my children to pick out their own clothes; how I didn’t see the harm and it wasn’t a reflection on me as a parent as much as it is a reflection of them and what they like. As long as it was age and weather appropriate, what was the problem?

In fact, the Washington State Dept. of Social and Health Services says this: The use of natural and logical consequences is an effective form of discipline. It helps your child develop responsibility and a positive self-concept. It helps your child learn to problem solve ways of getting more rewards for positive behavior. It promotes self respect. It helps maintain a positive relationship between you and your child.

Well, there you go; the official results of a no doubt government funded study. The Good Enough Mother study had similar findings. If Casey doesn’t eat breakfast, she will be hungry. If she is hungry, she may feel rotten and may not be able to pay attention in school. At lunch, she will eat and feel better. Tomorrow morning, she remembers that horrid feeling in the pit of her stomach and how hard school work was in the morning. She makes a decision to eat better so as not to feel that way again. Cost of analysis: FREE Obviously this doesn’t work with all kids and you need to get a sense whether this will work for yours. But it’s a win-win for us. Casey learns a lesson about personal responsibility and there are fewer gray hairs and strained vocal cords for Good Enough Mother.

Picture: www.flickr.com